I'm going to keep this one fairly short and sweet.
Having been diagnosed with Demyelination of my Central Nervous System, I felt/feel like I have a dark cloud hanging over me. The next MRI, or results of which, will tell me if there are any more lesions on my brain and spinal chord. If there are, this could go hand in hand with a diagnosis of MS.
The times that I get frustrated
Are the times where I think of being 'normal'. My sisters wedding in May - a normal, happy, energetic bridesmaid, ecstatic to see my big sister wed!! My boyfriends 30th - normal, loved up, lapping up his family's Irish hospitality! Even just going to the gym - normal, pushing my boundaries, dripping sweat, feeling strong!! And now.... a little less every day... but the fatigue is unreal. Having to stop to rest on a wall during the short walk from the bus stop to my flat, is not cool. Nor is not being able to finish doing the dishes. If I have one tip, strategic disco naps are the key!! Mini rest then power up to do whatever you have your sights set on. Some days I'm able to count my blessings with ease. And some days I get pretty down that this has all happened, and not knowing if Ill be 'normal' again.
On one particular evening
My boyfriend and I had just gone to bed. Tearfully, I explained that I was finding it hard and just wanted to be normal again!!! And he hit me with this almighty gem. "I know babe... I know its hard... but together - we will find our new normal." Wow!
Such a simple point, and a massive impact.
It hit me like a bolt out the blue, and inspired me, that as I gradually get better, I will find my new ways of doing things, and we will find ways to adapt to it together. And gave me ridiculous amounts of heart - that dark cloud has a wee bit of sunshine peaking through!! Just one of the many snippets that my boyfriend has started to share... I swear... he should have been a philosopher.
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