This was not how my Wednesday was supposed to be

I had arrived at A&E  

and was pretty hurriedly taken through to a doctor. She was hugely matter of fact, and put me at my ease. Doing all the tests for reflex and reaction, regresses you (or at least me!) into a child like state, and I was pretty proud of myself when my knee bounced back to her prods. She openly ruled out Bells Palsy, then disappeared for quite a bit! Cue boyfriend arriving with an anxious look, and me starting to think things were looking fairly ok. (This proved to be a pattern that would repeat all week... Disaster... Not so bad...Disaster... you get the idea.)

When the Doctor reappeared

she said that she had phoned a neurologist from another Hospital, who wanted to see me immediately. Rapidly an ambulance crew appeared and before I knew it boyfriend and I were tucked up in the back of it. Again, a lovely team, the lady in the back with us was doing all her tests and telling me that the blue lights would go on, but not to worry, it would just make sure we were whizzed there faster. Other than the siren, silently, we were on our way. 

Nearly there

I burst into tears, it had suddenly hit me what was happening. This was not how my wednesday morning was supposed to be!! 

Stupid as it sounds

when I realised that I wasn't in the 'normal' part of A&E, I just kept thinking that there were people who needed to be there more than me, and to go and help them. As a team of people started repeating all the tests and firing questions at me, I could see a poor man across the room from me, he was actually grey, covered in a wet sheen, he was in the midst of a heart attack. The flurry calmed a little, and a consultant told me she didn't think that I was having a stroke, but gave me blood thinners to make sure that I didn't, and admitted me. 

In a bed in an Acute Stroke Ward

I gazed around me. To my left, right, everywhere... so many ladies, old ladies, some couldn't speak their stroke had been so severe, none could move without assistance. And lovely wee Esther! She recited poetry (endlessly) out loud. When she was in her chair, her legs were so tiny they dangled down like a child, I thought she was like a Roald Dahl character. Esther and my ipad entertained me! Anyway, I was pretty self dependant, and although the nurses were constantly there, left me to it. 

The days passed

visitors of the other ladies kept saying how young I was to be there. I kept thinking yeah I know, and that slowly registered with me. My CT scan had been clear, as had my x-rays. My symptoms however, were slightly changing. My face had improved dramatically with some facial exercises I was given, but sometimes the numbness would spread up my face, or down my right side, or even across my tongue. These changes, hinted at perhaps a rare form of migraine, and not a stroke. Slowly I convinced myself that it was only a headache! This was the suggestion of a doctor. The circle of consultants surrounded my bed on a daily basis and promised they would get me out asap, I was only waiting for an MRI.

Friday came

I knew that it was D-day as to whether I would have to stay the weekend!!! One false start... taken down  and back without a scan... on edge I was desperate to get out. I eventually got one! Confident that the consultants would surround my bed that day, tell me that I was all clear, and to go home. I honestly in my heart thought that would be the case.

Consultants appear. Curtain drawn. Susie this is Dr...... I stopped paying attention, desperate to get to the point. 

The results of your MRI were not clear. Don't worry, you don't have a brain tumour. WHAT??!! That didn't even cross my mind!!!!! 

The others disappear, Dr.... sits down next to me... and starts to tell all.